Now she speaks

30072011-the oldest protestant cemetery in penang(1789-1892)

Misery torn ed me apart and swallow the deepest happiest symphony of mine
Pretending to be so far beyond fine from the surface
Yet am so fragile and it all fall apart from tumbling in the inside
Tripped and trapped into a deep emotion hollow of mine
I shouted, I laughed, I giggle, I lied, I was a person
that is what i am once upon a time
Now whats left behind is a
suitcase filled with memory
I creep-ed, I crawled , I begged
I wish to spread my wings in sudden flights of fancy
yet i fall behind every time i tried to get up and move
as if there is a hindrance that been obstruct my tough
watching through window, and everything seem to be same
Nothing change and there goes my very self pity and sympathy
Alone has been my darkest shadow that shielded colorful array sunshine
Loneliness sometime seem to be my very own enemy of darkness fear
Empty words never meant to be this half spoken


Enough of the ohhly crap! i been in this hall of 'FAME' of mine for quite sometime now
It attacked me all of sudden especially when am alone in this room with nothing to do
pretty much to do actually, its just suck alot to think of it over and over again when somehow people dont think of you that much as you though of them. Women's nature( sigh , biggest weakness and defect in us)Even little thing i get annoyed and agitated to now,I though i am so prepared and ever ready to face the biggest challege in life but it all fall down like a deck of dominoes.I have so much to write in life and finally i wrote THIS? very little pathetic piece of mine. I should start get my very own life back! and i wonder every time i said something like that, nothing happen and am back to square one.

Anyway, decided what i wanna have after graduation, a tattoo on my neck for sure,with some italic words that meant a thousand journey in my life shall be engrave in some hidden body part of mine.

Picture of the extravaganza carnival, i was called up to be the usher again and this time i was in a white cheongsam ( picture shall be up in the next post) as FYI me and cheongsam never a click

Traditional vs modern( henna on my hand ) traditional indian tatoo art on my hand


hahah, and got myself a fake tatoo for a suka suka thing, symbol is not realy my thing but yea, i gave a shot on that.

Looking for a study mode weekend in Kampar as i make my decision to stay put here and work my lazy bump out and strive hard for final. Its hard to do that as i get distracted when am back in my hometown and can somebody prescribe be with a medication to GET OVER WITH IT? off to my lullaby dreamland in awhile.
-am out.

Chasing car

nothing is real till its gone
Chasing car
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
sky is a souvenir that you never knew

Penang bridge
Penang people called it Passembur, guess what, my kl friend named it rojak
the great o-chien or fried osyter at gurney drive
sunny checked, beach here we come
Unfortunately when we got to the beach, it was already pitch black

'Lets waste time, chasing car, around our head'-snow petrol
We been chasing car for far too long now, and it was a great escape
was a very great escape and indeed is one of my very late delayed post

Transformer tickets were all sold out in Ipoh( sadly) ticket was selling fast like hotcakes
Come up with a crazy idea of hopping on a crazy road trip to watch transformer Dark of the moon and indeed it was worth to travel all the way up to north
exhilarating exhausted but exciting and extreme madness
i miss home and i got back to my hometown to watch transformer
massive road jams before reaching bukit merah
and we marked 3th July as road pussam day
Arrived at Gurney plaza to purchase our 4 pieces of precious transformer tickets
had our dinner at Gurney drive and headed to the beach at batu ferrighi
and shop at the long pasar malam along the way
blonde barbie in the movie is hot, one of the best transformer i watched
However blonde barbie can never replace Megan fox
Along the jouney, hitz.fm totally spoil 'on the floor'-jlo and 'party rock anthem song' LMFAO
wonder why the radio station have to kill good music by playing them over and over
till we feel like puking whenever we listen to both song
and I do get bored with RNB songs easily because the chorus is repeated many times


back to transformer,
i always have an ear for the movie soundtrack
because they never fail to impress me
my all time favorite will still be-goo goo dolls: before its too late

My current will be:
linkin park

Iridescent:

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up all the failures all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, LET IT GO.

Bottom of my core heart speaks

I must admit that i have been too busy to update all the interesting events that happen around me lately, and i must say i pretty enjoy the time i spend together with my friend in kampar rather than goin back to my very own place in penang. Current obsession is gotta be the BIG BANG THEORY- blame it on matthew and cheryl for introducing such a good laugh series to me, a nerdy geeky scientific funny type.
am now on season 2 episode 4, and am enjoying and liking the geeky personality in Sheldon

Before i even go anywhere further here's some post that got over delayed
1. Singapore trips to Aunt Anna place for two weeks on 24december till 7th jan- practically spend my entire Christmas and new year eve celebration in Singapore for the first time rather in malaysia
2.Nidya darling birthday pictures and the detail of it
3. Darling Trishal's 22nd birthday in First love-sasy green with envy
4. Back to back movie trips with cheryl , trishal, and swee yee at ipoh parade- we watched x-men and kung fu panda on wednesday night :)
5.Detail on Convent school canteen day -its good to be back after 5 years being away from school
6.Crazy transformer trip-Hell, a crazy night out
7.Asian cultural night-epic one , gotta wait for this
8.Penang trip with 4 awesome friends-homesweethome finally

am suppose to be busy with my final year project proposal , pharmacology lab test , virology lab reports, virology field trips.I get distracted easily and my time management is pretty bad for this semester, been caugh up with too much of workload lately till i reached a point that i couldnt be bother to start doing them early and waiting for a day to reach the dateline and then i suppose i will start typing and figured stuff out. Holly crap! final is in 4 weeks from now and my notes is not updated since week 4 or week 5. Too much of crap subject this semester with make no sence subject such as medical genomic-basically its about bioinformatic stuff,and too much of lecture cancelled for oncology and pharmacology. Enough of studies, i dont really blaa much bout study but i guess i should start study for FINAL now .I have this crazy plan of studying in my home sweet home for the study week rather than studying in kampar and get stress , i need to adjust to proper food and sleep because if i happen to stay here, am gonna be rot with instant noodles and sleepless night. Have to meet my academic advisor and get things done before next week.

Enough crap of my study sick lazy stuff, am gonna be sick and sleepy like a zombie tomorrow with a white cheongsam on serving the vip for the asian cultural carnival but my body just refused to sleep although the time is showing 4.30ish now, and i have to wake up at 6am in the morning to get ready. Me with a cheongsam will never be a click because i dint have that Chinese look on my face after all.

Get this message from body shop via digi this morning and they are having 50% off on Aqua lily Eau De Toilette 30ml (normal price is RM55) till 31st August for digi customer only.I was like yeaaah! i wanna get them soon when i have the extra cash. I learn something lately, when you dont have money in the wallet , you will learn to appreciate good thing in life more, and is an effective way for me to lose weight :) apparently i dont spend much on food and have 1 meal per day if my financial is a bit tight. In a way, i learn to be dependent on whatever source i have.

wait, this post is suppose to be from the bottom of my core heart speaks aint it? hahahhaa
i observed something, people tend to write on their relationsh**t problem once they have problem or at the edge of a burning fire where both parties had already spilt, which the part they get emo and blame on each other and hurt each other in their blog

i found that simply and super ridiculous! GROW UP!and blogging your relationsh**t problem will not solve anything it will only worsen the condition by getting both party hurt.( am speaking of the pass ever since i used friendster) seriosly , it aint cool to do that people. Oh i did remember something even cooler :

You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had

-Beyonce-best thing i never had